Pursuant to U.S. State & Federal Laws (official sounding, isn't it?)

Legal Information: Terms and Conditions
This "Site" is owned and operated by Custom Photographic Expressions ("CPE"), an Illinois company. Your access and use of this Site is subject to the following terms and conditions (the "Terms and Conditions") on this page, and all applicable laws. By browsing the Site, you accept, without limitation or qualification, the Terms and Conditions. If you do not agree with any of the below Terms and Conditions, do not use the Site, do not purchase our materials, and continue to take mediocre pictures. CPE reserves the right, in its sole discretion, to modify, alter or otherwise update these Terms and Conditions at any time and by using our Site, you agree to be bound by such changes.

Copyrights and Trademarks
The documents and information on the Site are copyrighted materials of CPE (whose did you think they would be?). Copyright information contained on this domain may not be reproduced, distributed or copied publicly in any way, including but not limited to, the Internet, e-mail, newsgroups, leaving flyers in bus-stop bathrooms, or reprinting. Any violator will be subject to the maximum fine and penalty imposed by law (be very very scared).

Limitation of Liability
Information and/or services obtained from this site is provided "AS IS WHERE IS" (I'm not even sure what that means), without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied, including, but not limited to, the implied warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, or non-infringement. Our company's entire liability, and any customer's exclusive remedy, shall be a refund of the price paid - so there!

Though we strive for accuracy, information on the Site may contain inadvertent photographic inaccuracies or typographical errors. Information may be changed or updated without notice. CPE may also make improvements and/or changes in the products and/or services described in this information, at any time without notice. (Did you expect an e-mail?)

CPE makes no representations whatsoever about any hyper-linked third-party sites which you may access through our Site or products. These 3rd party sites are not created or maintained by CPE (and therefore are probably not as good). They are independent from CPE, and CPE has no control over the content on those sites. Moreover, CPE does not endorse or accept any responsibility for the content, or the use, of such sites… heck, we may not even like them. While we have no information about the presence of such dangers on 3rd party sites, you should take the necessary precautions to protect yourself and your systems from viruses, worms, Trojan horses, rocking horses, real horses, and retired carousel horses. In fact, we recommend you unplug your computer before doing anything, for maximum security.

In no event will CPE be liable to you or any other third party for any direct, indirect, special or other consequential damages for any use of this Site or our product(s), even if we are expressly advised of the possibility of such damages.

Product Performance
EVERY EFFORT HAS BEEN MADE TO ACCURATELY REPRESENT ALL PRODUCTS AND/OR SERVICES AND THEIR REALISTIC POTENTIAL. EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE THE POTENTIAL OF HAVING EVERY PICTURE BECOMING A MASTERPIECE, THERE IS NO GUARANTEE THAT WILL HAPPEN. EXAMPLES IN ANY MATERIALS THAT REFERENCE EARNINGS ARE NOT TO BE INTERPRETED AS A PROMISE OR GUARANTEE OF EARNINGS. EARNING POTENTIAL IS ENTIRELY DEPENDENT ON THE PERSON USING OUR PRODUCT (or to be completely honest, anybody else's product either), THEIR IDEAS AND TECHNIQUES. WE DO NOT PURPORT ANY PRODUCT OR SERVICE AS A "GET RICH SCHEME."

ANY CLAIMS MADE OF ACTUAL EARNINGS OR EXAMPLES OF ACTUAL RESULTS ARE NOT TYPICAL. YOUR LEVEL OF SUCCESS IN ATTAINING THE RESULTS CLAIMED IN OUR MATERIALS OR ANY MATERIALS WE REFER TO, OR DISCUSS, DEPENDS ON THE TIME YOU DEVOTE TO THE PROGRAM, IDEAS AND TECHNIQUES MENTIONED, YOUR FINANCES, KNOWLEDGE AND VARIOUS SKILLS. IN ADDITION, PLAIN DUMB BLIND LUCK IS ALSO A FACTOR. SINCE THESE FACTORS DIFFER ACCORDING TO INDIVIDUALS, WE CANNOT GUARANTEE YOUR SUCCESS OR INCOME LEVEL. NOR ARE WE RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY OF YOUR ACTIONS (especially if it involves 3 turnips and a ferret named Ralph).

MATERIALS IN OUR PRODUCT AND OUR WEBSITE MAY CONTAIN INFORMATION THAT INCLUDES OR IS BASED UPON FORWARD-LOOKING STATEMENTS WITHIN THE MEANING OF THE SECURITIES LITIGATION REFORM ACT OF 1995. FORWARD-LOOKING STATEMENTS GIVE OUR EXPECTATIONS OR FORECASTS OF FUTURE EVENTS. YOU CAN IDENTIFY THESE STATEMENTS BY THE FACT THAT THEY DO NOT RELATE STRICTLY TO HISTORICAL OR CURRENT FACTS. THEY USE WORDS SUCH AS "ANTICIPATE," "ESTIMATE," "EXPECT," "MAGIC 8 BALL," "PROJECT," "INTEND," "I REALLY REALLY HOPE SO," "PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!," "PLAN," "BELIEVE," AND OTHER WORDS AND TERMS OF SIMILAR MEANING IN CONNECTION WITH A DESCRIPTION OF POTENTIAL EARNINGS OR FINANCIAL PERFORMANCE.

ANY AND ALL FORWARD LOOKING STATEMENTS HERE OR ON ANY OF OUR SALES MATERIAL ARE INTENDED TO EXPRESS OUR OPINION OF EARNINGS POTENTIAL, FASHION TRENDS, OR IN WHAT CENTURY THE CHICAGO CUBS MAY WIN THE WORLD SERIES. MANY FACTORS WILL BE IMPORTANT IN DETERMINING YOUR ACTUAL RESULTS (duh) AND NO GUARANTEES ARE MADE THAT YOU WILL ACHIEVE RESULTS SIMILAR TO OURS OR ANYBODY ELSE'S, IN FACT NO GUARANTEES ARE MADE THAT YOU WILL ACHIEVE ANY RESULTS FROM OUR IDEAS AND TECHNIQUES IN OUR MATERIAL. LET'S BE HONEST-YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A GUARANTEE THAT YOU WILL BE ABLE TO FINISH READING THIS PAGE BEFORE YOU DIE ... SO WHY ARE YOU WASTING ANY MORE TIME ON THIS STUPID PAGE?

As with any business, your results may vary, and will be based on your background, dedication, desire and motivation. We make no guarantees regarding the level of success you may experience. Any testimonials and examples used are exceptional results, which do not apply to the average purchaser, and are not intended to represent or guarantee that anyone will achieve the same or similar results. You may also experience unknown or unforseeable risks (such as falling into a fish tank with an overly aggressive school of guppies) which can reduce results. We are not responsible for your actions.

Jurisdiction and Choice of Law
CPE does not make any representation that materials in the Site are appropriate or available for use in other locations. Those who choose to access this Site from other locations do so on their own initiative and are responsible for compliance with local laws, if and to the extent local laws are applicable. [Did you understand any of that? Me neither.]

These Terms and Conditions shall be governed by, construed and enforced in accordance with the laws of the State of Illinois, as it is applied to agreements entered into and to be performed entirely within the State. Any action you, any third party or CPE brings to enforce these Terms and Conditions or, in connection with, any matters related to this site shall be brought only in either the State or Federal Courts located in Dupage County, Illinois, and you expressly consent to the jurisdiction of said courts. After all, they do have extraordinary parking.

Other
If any provision of this agreement shall be unlawful, void, or for any reason unenforceable, then that provision shall be deemed severable from this agreement and shall not affect the validity and enforceability of any remaining provisions. (I think that is the legal equivalent of "don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.")This is the entire agreement between the parties relating to the matters contained herein.